The Journey: Episode Sixteen

JUNE 29, 2020

My first week of this low carb challenge down and it sucked. I did really well the first two days and then I dropped off. I guess I really can’t quit carbs cold turkey like that, but I’m going to keep trying. It’s been especially hard with cravings and eating out. On days where we don’t want to cook or don’t have time to cook, we’d order out and there’s not a lot of low carb options out there. I am trying though, that’s the most I can do. We’re running out of low carb snacks to eat and that’s affected me a bit.

I am very frustrated though. I’m being more conscious of the carbs I eat and trying to lessen them and yet my insulin continues going up. Last night I went up to 80 units and this morning my blood sugar was the same. I’m so frustrated! It’s like nothing I do will lower my blood sugar! Going up on my insulin doesn’t do anything for my blood sugar. It stays the same. Only twice during the first week my blood sugar was slightly within range and even then it was high. AGH WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!!

Besides this super frustrating and irritating run, I am trying to destress my life. I think this whole pandemic is stressing me out and keeping my blood sugar levels high. Before the pandemic, I would eat whatever and take my insulin at night, then the next morning my blood sugar would be in range, that was at 50 units. Now I’m at 80 units and my sugar levels don’t change. I hate this. I want to go back to work. I want to stop stressing out. I just want my sugar levels to go down.

I’ve gained over 20 pounds since the pandemic started and I can’t seem to lose any of the weight again. It’s not like I can go out and relax somewhere, I’m afraid of catching coronavirus with all the people gathering at the beaches and everything. This has just been very frustrating.

This is just a very negative, ranting post. I’m sorry about that. Let’s see if there are any upsides to all of this.

On the bright side, I get to spend more time with my husband. He might be going back to work next month, fingers crossed. I get to spend time with my sister before she moves to Missouri then on to Germany with her husband. I probably won’t see her for a long while, which is both good and bad. She’s super annoying but she’s still pretty okay to hang around with.

I finally got my iMac to work and can now work on my desktop while sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room. I have a new fountain pen that I’ve been using to journal and that’s been pretty therapeutic. Honestly, I can’t think of anything else. Hopefully things will get better and I’ll be able to take better control of my life. Hopefully.

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