AUGUST 10, 2020
So conditions have been unchanged since the last journey update. I went one night without injecting my insulin and the next morning I woke up and my blood glucose was 210 mg/dL. I’m not sure how it would have been if I had taken my insulin that night because we had dinner kind of late that night, after 7pm, and it was pretty carb heavy. But then there’s today. I ate dinner way before 6pm and it wasn’t very carb heavy. When I took my blood glucose at 9am, kind of late because I woke up late, it was 179! So that’s very frustrating.
I think my insulin injections aren’t working as well as they were when I first started taking them. They’re still working thank goodness, but not nearly enough. It’s only a slight change in my numbers between not taking and taking my insulin. So I’m basically paying $99 every two weeks or so for a drug that’s supposed to be helping me, but isn’t.
And that’s another thing. I have Lantus. It’s 5 pens of about 310units each. I’m at 85units now, I can only get three doses from each pen. I don’t use it all the way to 0 because I don’t want to inject myself twice, it’s bad enough doing one each night, plus there are always bubbles no matter how hard I try. I have a coupon card which helps me get my boxes at a discount, I’m not sure what the discount is, but I only pay $99. However, when I tried to fill my prescription on the last week of July, the Pharmacy said if they were to fill it then, I would have to pay full price, but if I waited until next week, it would be $99. Neither of my insurances companies cover my insulin, which completely fucking sucks, so I had to wait, thankfully I had enough left to be able to wait. But now I go through one box in two weeks and I wonder if they’ll be able to fill it at the discounted price. I think I might have to double inject this time just to make it stretch, which doesn’t sound fun at all.
My next prescription of Lantus, I’m moving to another pharmacy where it will be hopefully cheaper for me. If not, then I have no idea what to do and I’m screwed. Unless my doctor can give me another insulin which would be a lot better, if it’s cheaper.
Yea the stress of not having enough money to buy my medication and the stress of my medication not working is very…stressful. I’ve been so stressed out lately that I had a breakdown, in front of my boss. Thankfully she was so kind and understanding. We worked out my schedule so I only work one to two hours a day from home and it’s been working a lot so far. I feel less stressed and I’m getting more work done.
I’m looking in to meditation to try and help get my stress levels down on the regular and take time for myself more often. I’ve got a lot of lovely scented candles that I’ve been lighting and it’s been lifting my spirits.
I hope if you’re facing these same hardships in your diabetic journey, that you’ll take some time for yourself. Your mental health is so important and we always forget to take care of ourselves. Go take a nice warm bath. Drink some tea and read your favorite book. Go take a walk outside in the sunshine today. Take some time to slow down and enjoy your life. Even though you have diabetes, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this life you were given. Smile at yourself in the mirror and take a minute to love being you. I love you. I am here for you. We can get through this together. You’ve got this!