Season Two: Episode Two

JANUARY 10, 2021

I had my eye doctor appointment this past week. Turns out my eyes are okay. Thank goodness. I was a little worried when I took an eye test that gauged my peripheral vision. I could hardly see most of the lines with my left eye, but my doctor said I was nearly perfect which was good considering it was my first time doing that test. Though I do remember when I was a kid, I did something like it at my pediatrician’s doctor office. Gosh that was a memory from a million years ago, I still remember how the doctor office looked it never changed, and it actually still hasn’t changed to this day. The same doctor is there still practicing.

My gynecologist is the same doctor that delivered my sisters and I. It’s pretty crazy living in a small town. Hardly anything changes here, but when you really look, everything has changed.

I am currently making changes to my life. I think it’s been pretty positive so far. I have consciously made the decision to eat less rice. Before I would eat rice every meal of the day, but now it’s only once or twice a day, mostly once though. As I write this on Sunday night, I had a fruit salad for dinner because I had a pretty heavy breakfast, medium lunch, and I just didn’t feel like eating a lot for dinner so we went and got fruits. I wanted apples, but I ended up eating the fruit salad instead tonight.

This morning, I was the lightest I’ve been since May 2020. I weighed in at 207.9lbs. I’ve been plateaued at 212 for a long time and I’m really glad that cutting out rice has really made me feel lighter and less bloated. Sometimes I’m weak and eat a bunch of rice, but now I feel awful afterwards and completely regret it, so I’m learning a little at a time. I’m getting there.

I still haven’t contacted my endocrinologist. I’m going to get a raise at my job, so maybe that’ll be able to help pay for the second insulin, but really, I don’t think I can afford it. Oh and my pharmacist gave me a different needle from the one I’ve had and I HATE IT. It says it’s the same length as my other needle but that is a bull lie, it looks so much longer! When I inserted the needle in my thigh, I felt the whole thing and it kind of felt like it popped something when the whole needle went in, I don’t know how else to describe it. When I was injecting the insulin, I could feel every single click of the plunger as each unit went in and I HATED THAT MOST. It’s not been a good experience.

I’m working and studying to get my securities license. I’m trying to really work on my business and it’s going to be a long road, but I have to keep reminding myself why I’m doing it. The studying is like learning a whole new language but I’m excited about it.

My blood sugar still hasn’t been in range all that much lately, but I’m getting there. I wish I wasn’t diabetic. I wish I could have a child and a house of our own. I wish I wasn’t fat and I had an actual butt. Wishing can only get you so far. You have to put in the work and make your wishes come true. You can shout your wishes to the Universe, but YOU have to meet the Universe halfway. I’m trying to meet the Universe halfway and it’s a lot of work, but I have so much to fight for. I have to fight for it, no matter what.

Season Two: Episode One

JANUARY 4, 2021

It’s a new year and honestly I’m not sure if it’s a new me. The drive and passion to make changes in my life are just as strong as five days ago but my willpower is as low as ever. I know what I have to do, it’s finding the motivation to get up and move. When I do move, I’ll keep moving. It’s the first step that’s always the hardest.

On the other hand, The Young and Diabetic has turned one and it’s honestly so amazing that I’ve managed to keep this blog going for one year. I’m notorious for starting things and stopping right in the middle, but I think it’s because I’m so passionate about diabetes that’s keeping me going. Not to mention you guys. As much as I like writing to keep me busy, it’s good to know that someone, somewhere out there is reading my work and actually liking what I write. You’re amazing. If you weren’t here, I would have stopped writing a long time ago I think.

I hate the idea of resolutions and diets. I hate them because I never remember them and I never stick to them. Resolutions seem so temporary even though they’re meant to be kept the entire year, we forget after a couple of weeks. So instead, here is a list of my goals for the year:

  1. Build My Followership. Get 500 followers on The Young and Diabetic blog, 250 likes on The Young and Diabetic Facebook page, and 150 followers on @younganddiabetic on Instagram, 500 subscribers to my newsletter.
  2. Reach My Goal Weight. I am now 212lbs and I want to reach my goal weight of 160lbs this year. That’s a 52lb weight loss, one pound per week.
  3. Reach Etsy Shop Goals. Make $1000 in revenue and 150 orders.
  4. Reach My Business Goals. Protect 60 families and recruit 60 people with my business.
  5. Save More Money. Get to $2000 for retirement, save up $2000 for a second car, and save up $2000 to buy a house. This is just for the year but I hope to save up a lot more.
  6. Get My Diabetes Under Control. I want to be able to lower my insulin and metformin dosage this year.

I’m going to print out my goals and post them in my room and at my desk so I can always seem them and take steps everyday to achieving them. I encourage you to write down your goals for the year. Avoid using certain phrases like “I want to lose 20lbs” instead say you want to achieve your goal weight of whatever it is. Aim big, you more than likely won’t make it but even if you make it halfway, that’s a big win. Like I have 100 followers right now and it took all year to get 100. I think realistically I can get another 100 this year, but if I aim for 500, 250 will still be a big win for me!

Feel free to share your goals with me so I can help cheer you on. You all are going to keep me accountable this year. I really appreciate all of you. Thank you for sticking with me. I hope you have a great 2021 and you achieve your goals and dreams this year.

Celebrating One Year!

Today The Young and Diabetic turns ONE!

I can’t believe 2020 has come and finally gone. Our first year together has been filled with ups and downs. We’ve been through a lot together, you, my valued reader, and I.

I remember in the final months of 2019, I was planning out my new up and coming blog about diabetes. I started putting together my website and began planning what kinds of posts I would publish. My mission was to educate people about diabetes so they can better manage their disease or so they can help others on their journey. My mission stays the same now going in to 2021.

I fell off the wagon last year and I plan to get right back on for the new year. My plans for this blog are too grow my followership and post regularly. I want to post more diabetic-friendly recipes and find more things about diabetes. I want to expand my Etsy shop and get better at marketing. But most of all, I want to continue sharing relevant and quality information about diabetes with all of you.

Also, to celebrate this amazing milestone for me, I will be offering free shipping on my Etsy shop ALL MONTH LONG!!! You can now have your stickers and masks shipped to you for free. My email subscribers are also going to receive a special discount for my shop, so if you want to find out what it is, subscribe to my newsletter to get access to special discounts and extra goodies!

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I have other products in the works which were supposed to be released this week but due to how backed up everything got with the holidays, I’ve had to postpone release until further notice. My email subscribers already know what’s coming and I really can’t wait to share with everyone.

2021 is going to be a great year regardless of everything to do with the pandemic. I’m speaking this in to existence right now. 2021 is going to be great. For me. For you. For everyone. We can make it through this new year. You’ve got this. And thank you for supporting me and celebrating one year of The Young and Diabetic.

The Journey: Episode Twenty-Eight

NOVEMBER 30, 2020

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving regardless of how you spent it. I also hope you all were safe this past weekend. I live in a multi-generational home so we stayed home for Thanksgiving for the most part. I helped my grandma make the turkey, my husband and I cooked the sides, my sister and mom sat with my grandma and watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

My mom went to California the week before and came back the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I was against it but she never listened to me before. She tried to appease me by buying us stuff. I’m still upset that she went and put us all at risk but now I can be upset with dried cranberries and almonds.

We had two regular pumpkin pies, a custard pie, and a pumpkin cream cheese pie. The last one was so good, it was gone by the end of dinner. We had a good time as a family. It’s the only time of year that my family actually acts like a family and we eat together and talk and have fun together.

I accidentally carb loaded my plate, but on the bright side I was so full from my one plate that I didn’t go for seconds. I barely had room for pie. I felt, not completely full, but really full. Usually I would pile food on my plate and then go back for seconds, but this year I didn’t eat that much which was a surprise to everyone. I drank a lot of water and I went on a short walk before eating.

I wish we still had our community Turkey Trot this year. I went with my other sister the last two years and it was a lot of fun. But she moved away a couple months ago so I would have had to go alone anyway. Last year, I had beat my time from the year before and I was hoping to do it again, but alas, stupid Coronavirus prevented us from having the Turkey Trot this year.

We didn’t do Black Friday this year. Our stores weren’t doing the usual Black Friday anyway, but also we just didn’t have the money. Instead, we looked longingly at the sales papers at all the things we wanted but couldn’t buy. Same thing this Cyber Monday unfortunately. We don’t get paid until later this week and even then we have bills to pay and medication to buy.

I’m thinking of designing a diabetes planner journal thing. Not sure what I’m going to call it yet. I’m thinking about it mostly because I have to find a printer and I don’t have much of a budget for those sort of things right now. But it’s an idea I want to work on.

Besides that my health has been in the hole this holiday season. My blood sugar has been high, my blood pressure has been high, my sleep schedule is messed up, and my feet have been really sore. I’ve been really super depressed lately but yesterday I pushed through and cleaned my room. I also sold some stuff on Facebook Marketplace that we no longer need and was cluttering our room. They’ve all sold pretty quickly and we had money for gas thankfully.

Good luck this holiday season. There’s so much going on this season and we can all make it through this. Don’t be afraid to talk about what’s going on in your life. It’s a whole weight off your shoulder just by sharing your troubles with someone.


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The Journey: Episode Twenty-Seven

NOVEMBER 16, 2020

Well there isn’t really anything to update. A couple weeks ago, we bought an ice cream/rice scooper with the little wiper thing. Last night, I finally used it to help my portion control with my rice. Usually I pile the rice on however much I THINK I need, which is way too much. So last night I used my scoop and made two small scoops. They were small like I could put them in my hand and roll them into little rice balls. We had breakfast for dinner, eggs, bacon, and Portuguese sausage with rice. My two scoops were just the right amount! I am so upset by how much I have been overeating rice in my life. My blood sugar didn’t really reflect the lower amount of rice, but I’m sure in the long run it’ll start showing.

In Hawaii, it’s common for people to lose weight when they eat less rice or no rice at all. I’m definitely going to be eating a lot less rice, so we’ll see how much weight I lose, if any at all.

As of today, I’ve gotten two orders on my Etsy shop and I’m super excited that I’ve even gotten that much. My hopes of selling stickers and other merchandise to keep my blog running is working pretty okay right now. If I can sell four or five stickers, then I have enough to order a new sticker design or another batch of stickers so I’m really excited for that! I’ve saved enough that I can order one or two new designs to put up on the shop in the coming weeks. Since you’re my follower, you get to see what’s new first. You can also follow my Instagram and Facebook to see updates too!

My sister thinks I should make car decals. While I think that’s a great idea, I do have to find suppliers and keep it within budget. I do have plans to expand to pins and notebooks one day. If I do decide to do decals, I have a friend who makes decals on her cricut and I could maybe ask her to make a batch for me, that way I can keep things local and the money in Hawaii’s economy. That would be great. But we’ll see what happens. It’s only been a little over a week now and I’m doing okay so far.

I’m running low on Lantus prescriptions so I’d have to call my endocrinologist to renew my prescription for another year’s worth of insulin. 95 units seems to be where it’s at unfortunately. If I can bring my weight down and my blood sugar under control, then maybe I can lower my insulin dosage, but I haven’t been within range with 95 units enough times yet and I’m terrified to go up to 100 units. 95units already hurts a lot and I am not a fan of double injections on the same night.

In fact, my left thigh has still been sore recently so I’ve decided to do 20 injections in my right thigh for now. I’m making sure the last ten are staying at least one inch below the first ten and at least 1/4 inch away from each other. So far this arrangement has been working out as I just did injection 16 last night. I just hope that my left thigh will be okay for injections to start soon. It’s been really tender and sore to the touch on some places. The bruises have faded away but there are still bumps from old injections that still haven’t gone away yet. It’s pretty frustrating.

I’ve been pretty proud of myself. We still have a lot of Halloween candy in the house since October and I haven’t been going off on them like I thought I would. In fact, the most chocolate I ate in the past month was yesterday and it was because of my period and even then it was maybe 2 ounces of chocolate.

I’ve also decided to get back in to intermittent fasting as well. I already don’t eat after a certain time anyway so making it to 16 hours usually isn’t that difficult, but I want to make it a regular thing more often. I’m going to keep trying. Somehow I’ve had this sudden spurt of inspiration and determination that is propelling me forward with eating better and moving around more. I don’t know where it came from, but I want to jump on it and try to turn it in to good habits before I lose it, you know?

I guess I did have updates on my journey today. I’m really glad you’re sticking around. Your support is giving me the motivation to continue working on myself to be better. Suddenly sitting in front of a couple dozen people make being accountable all the more easier to do. Thank you so much for supporting me, especially through this pandemic. It’s been hard but I’m really glad that I’m doing this. It’s never too late to want to make yourself healthier.

The Journey: Episode Twenty-Six

NOVEMBER 8, 2020

Well nothing really good has happened. My endocrinologist has decided he can’t help me if I can’t afford my medication. Like thanks, man. I can barely afford my Lantus every two weeks and another insulin would be pushing it. I finally met the deductible for my health insurance this year and it only lasts until December 31, 2020 then my deductible starts all over again. I have to pay $6500 before they pay for anything. I’m not sure if my deductible will change next year.

So whenever I get a job and I’m able to pay for additional medication, he said I can give him a call and we can get started on another insulin. I’m hoping that I can get my blood sugar under better control before then so I won’t need it. I was doing so well with my blood sugar before and now it’s so out of control.

I suspect it started after my dog had a stroke and I was up most of the night and day keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn’t get hurt or crawl under the bed. Her condition didn’t improve and we had to put her down on October 27th and my blood sugar still hasn’t improved. I really miss her and her death hit me pretty hard. I’m getting better though and since I no longer have to take care of her, I can now apply for a job, but with coronavirus, they’re pretty slim pickings and I’m concerned for my own health with my compromised immune system.

All I can do right now is take care of myself. I need to make sure I eat healthier, sleep better, and exercise more. If I can find a job, we could hopefully move out of my grandma’s house and find a place of our own. I’ve been really stressed so I also need to better manage my stress. It’s all a bit much but I can do it. I am also taking an online hypertension management class offered through a local program. It’s only on Thursday night for three weeks but I’ve already learned a lot from the first class.

I am a little more motivated to work on my diet now. I am aiming for a low-fat, low-sodium, and low-carb diet to help manage my hypertension (high blood pressure) and diabetes. They are also going to sign me up for a nutrition class they offer and get me in contact with one of their dieticians. I haven’t been able to meet with one since my diagnosis three years ago so this will be great.

I am also going to make an effort to eat more fruits and veggies as well as exercise more. Just getting out of the house will do me good I think.

Other than that, I’m pretty much in a worse place than a couple months ago and there’s a lot of work I have to put in to get back to where I was and improve on that. Right now, I weigh about 211 pounds so I have a lot of work to lose 10% of my body weight, which is my goal.

Money is always going to be a problem for my husband and I right now during this pandemic and the only way to remedy it is for me to find a job. Until then, I am also selling stickers on my Etsy shop. It’s not much but it can help keep my blog running without using my own money.

I have three designs ready to print, I just need the money for them, which I’m saving up for. I’m also designing a couple more. I really like making the stickers. It’s a lot of fun. I am also thinking of making enamel or acrylic pins using the same designs. This is very exciting!

The Journey: Episode Twenty-Five

OCTOBER 12, 2020

First update in a long while. I couldn’t afford my other insulin, Novolog 70/30 mix, so I decided to just keep taking my Lantus. I told my doctor about it and he said that’s fine. I just have to monitor my blood sugar more than I was before which was morning and night. He also wants me to check after I eat as well to see what elevates my sugar and all that.

My sugar has been more in range lately so that’s a plus. But I’m still experiencing more highs than lows. I’m taking my dog outside more because she’s getting restless at home now. Our room is too small but I don’t trust her bladder out in the rest of the house. She can’t be outside for too long, it’s really hot here and she overheats easily so I usually wait until after the sun is beyond Mauna Kea when it’s cooler on our side of the island and let her walk around. The fresh air has been a huge welcome for me. I can’t let her out of my sight. Last time she crawled under the bed and got stuck under there until we pulled her out.

Otherwise, life has been really off. My birthday was this past Friday and we got to go on a road trip to Waimea and back with my dog, she kind of enjoyed it. She was so tired afterwards. I wanted to go to the beach but it was Fall Break here and the beaches were crowded so maybe this week we’ll go to the beach.

That’s pretty much what’s going on right now. I need to come back to this blog and write some more. There are a lot of distractions in my life right now and I need to control them better.

The Journey: Episode Twenty-Four

SEPTEMBER 20, 2020

Some good news. I made the decision to lower my insulin dosage from 85 units to 80 units.Why? Mostly because it stings a hell of a lot when I do 85, but also because I want to stretch my insulin as long as I can. And I’ve been doing the 80 units for the last four days and so far my blood sugar levels have been more in range with 80 units than with 85 units. That’s a real surprise to me.

However, I did have one day that was high and I noticed that it was because I forgot to drink my cinnamon tea the night before. When I do drink my tea, my sugar is in range the next morning so that’s pretty awesome.

There’s not much left to talk about. Everything has pretty much been the same as far as not being able to afford my medications all the time. My husband’s birthday is on Wednesday and I plan to make him dinner for a change. He wants mashed potatoes and pork chops. If my grandma’s garden still has green beans, I plan to harvest some and cook some of those with dinner. I think he’d appreciate it if I made him dinner. He always makes dinner, he complains about it too but I know he likes doing it, he can practice cooking and cutting and he’s getting better at it. He is a cook after all.

I am also planning to make him Italian seasoning. I have almost all of the herbs and spices, and he’s been wanting some for a long time. I just need a container to put it in.

My dog had a stroke the Friday before last. She’s doing better after the vet, her recovery is slow-going but she’s walking more and she has an appetite which is good. Her head is tilted and she still kind of walks in circles but she’s walking straighter now. She has started to lose control of her peeing, She pees herself a lot now. We’re keeping a close eye on her. We have step in our room to get up into the rest of the house and today she got herself up that step which was really amazing for her. I hope her recovery goes smoothly.

Other than that, that’s pretty much what’s going on in my life. I do hope to order stickers this week. I’m still deciding which online seller to work with, although it does look like I’ll be working with Etsy, which isn’t so bad except that they have a lot of fees. But we’ll get there when we get there.

The Journey: Episode Twenty-Three

SEPTEMBER 13, 2020

So I’m just waiting to get paid so I can get my new insulin. So far the Lantus is just barely working. I think the cinnamon tea really is helping. However, my dog’s health is in trouble and so I’ve had very little sleep in the last couple nights watching her and making sure she isn’t falling over. I’m so tired and I haven’t been able to eat anything that requires being away from her for too long so it’s not very healthy food the last couple of days and I know that it’s taking it’s toll on my diabetes. My blood sugar was high this morning from last night, 160 mg/dL.

I’m definitely not living the life right now. I’m also studying to take my SIE exam, hopefully next month. The SIE is a financial securities exam, it’s the entrance exam for the Series 6 and 63 that I need to take to become fully licensed and able to sell securities. It’s a bit difficult with all this new language to learn. But because of my dog’s health, I’ve put my studies on hold to take care of her.

I’m hoping that when I get securities licensed I can sign people up for retirement accounts and savings accounts so I can make some income that I can use to build up the Young and Diabetic’s sticker inventory. By the way, I’m still taking pre orders for my first 6 stickers. I decided to keep it open a little while longer. If you want to check them out or place an order, you can check out my Instagram page and DM me.

So I had the blood test a week ago and then on Thursday, I had my doctor appointment and thankfully, my high blood pressure the week before was stress related, not health related. My blood pressure was much better at my appointment. My doctor said my liver function was elevated, I’m still not sure what that means. If you know, can you comment below and help a girl out? I have no idea how bad that is, he made it sound like it was bad.

It feels like everything’s kind of coming apart in my life right now and I know everything will be okay but at the same time, I feel like I don’t want to keep doing this. I wish time could stop, everything could stop and I can catch my breath and prepare myself for what’s ahead. Time is moving way too fast right now and yet each second ticks by devastatingly slow. It’s confusing and frustrating all at once.

What are some things I can control?

I can control when and how I take a shower. If Waiemi watches our dog, I can take my time in the shower to take care of myself and today I felt like I needed it.

I can control how much water I drink. I haven’t been very thirsty lately and that’s a really good sign with my diabetes since diabetes can cause dry mouth.

That’s kind of all I feel like I can control in my life right now, but I’m working on this. Mental health is so important and I haven’t paid enough attention to my mental health and with my dog’s health being what it is now, I know I’m going to hit a low soon and I need to prepare myself for it. She’s been the sunlight of my life for the last 16 years. I’m turning 26 next month, she’s been with me for more than half of my life. It’ll break my heart when she’s gone but I know that the last year of her life, she could have been in a worse off place but my husband and I brought her with us when my mom moved and she’s been living a comfortable life for the last year. She’s my baby and I love her so much.

The Journey: Episode Twenty Two

SEPTEMBER 6, 2020

So I couldn’t afford to get my Novolog Mix 70/30 this week. No shock there. My insurance preferred that I get the brand name insulin which was obviously more, almost $600 a box of five pens. So the pharmacy asked if I wanted to screw my insurance and go with the generic and I said okay. Hah $300 per box of five pens. Then I asked if they could take my GoodRX card, they said sure. That would have brought my insulin down to $132. Which that was still too high a cost this week with all of our bills we had to pay, including the insurance that won’t pay for my medications.

So instead I went back to KTA and refilled my Lantus for $99. So I’ve been taking that the last two nights again. Not sure when we’ll get the money to pay for the Novolog, if we’ll get that money. Unemployment is supposed to give us backpay for August but we don’t know when that is coming. I’ve resorted to selling life insurance to hopefully help pay the bills.

I say it like it’s a bad thing. It’s not. I genuinely think people should be getting life insurance right now, especially with the pandemic going on and unemployment still being high. I’m really glad I got my life insurance before I was diagnosed with diabetes because I could potentially be uninsurable. My husband is on my policy and he’s the only one currently working a stable job. If I were to lose him, his insurance could help me financially which would be great.

I think of all of my friends and family who aren’t insured and have children. If they caught COVID-19, their children would be at risk. It’s a sad thought. So I’m glad I was able to get one of my friends insured, as well as his wife and kids, because now they can rest easy knowing if anything were to happen, they would be okay financially.

If only that line of business was more stable. But that’s alright. We’re making do. I can’t get my insulin right away but that’s okay, we’ll get by. I’m hoping I can make more sticker sales so I can pay for my business expenses separate from my personal expenses. I just have to keep persevering. Good things will come, I know they will.

So I have to wait until my husband’s pay day and hope he gets paid enough for the bills and my insulin. He worked too much hours to qualify for unemployment this week and my unemployment doesn’t get filed until next Sunday. Pay day is Friday. I have a doctor appointment with my PCP for my regular pills. I might have to pay for those because apparently we no longer qualify for QUEST medical and they picked up on the copay that HMSA left me with so that’s probably another $40 right there.

We have over $200 in bills to pay this week and only $40 in our account. Super great fun right there. Healthcare should seriously be more affordable than this. Isn’t America just great? I’m just upset that I can’t afford my medication. It all just sucks, but I will never give up.

My message to all of you out there: Keep on moving, don’t give up, and especially don’t give up on yourself. You’ve got this and I’m right here with you every step of the way. You have some rooting in your corner, always on your side, all the way out here in Hawaii. Never, ever give up. You can fight this and you can make it out of this alive. I believe in you.