The Journey: Episode Twenty-Three

SEPTEMBER 13, 2020

So I’m just waiting to get paid so I can get my new insulin. So far the Lantus is just barely working. I think the cinnamon tea really is helping. However, my dog’s health is in trouble and so I’ve had very little sleep in the last couple nights watching her and making sure she isn’t falling over. I’m so tired and I haven’t been able to eat anything that requires being away from her for too long so it’s not very healthy food the last couple of days and I know that it’s taking it’s toll on my diabetes. My blood sugar was high this morning from last night, 160 mg/dL.

I’m definitely not living the life right now. I’m also studying to take my SIE exam, hopefully next month. The SIE is a financial securities exam, it’s the entrance exam for the Series 6 and 63 that I need to take to become fully licensed and able to sell securities. It’s a bit difficult with all this new language to learn. But because of my dog’s health, I’ve put my studies on hold to take care of her.

I’m hoping that when I get securities licensed I can sign people up for retirement accounts and savings accounts so I can make some income that I can use to build up the Young and Diabetic’s sticker inventory. By the way, I’m still taking pre orders for my first 6 stickers. I decided to keep it open a little while longer. If you want to check them out or place an order, you can check out my Instagram page and DM me.

So I had the blood test a week ago and then on Thursday, I had my doctor appointment and thankfully, my high blood pressure the week before was stress related, not health related. My blood pressure was much better at my appointment. My doctor said my liver function was elevated, I’m still not sure what that means. If you know, can you comment below and help a girl out? I have no idea how bad that is, he made it sound like it was bad.

It feels like everything’s kind of coming apart in my life right now and I know everything will be okay but at the same time, I feel like I don’t want to keep doing this. I wish time could stop, everything could stop and I can catch my breath and prepare myself for what’s ahead. Time is moving way too fast right now and yet each second ticks by devastatingly slow. It’s confusing and frustrating all at once.

What are some things I can control?

I can control when and how I take a shower. If Waiemi watches our dog, I can take my time in the shower to take care of myself and today I felt like I needed it.

I can control how much water I drink. I haven’t been very thirsty lately and that’s a really good sign with my diabetes since diabetes can cause dry mouth.

That’s kind of all I feel like I can control in my life right now, but I’m working on this. Mental health is so important and I haven’t paid enough attention to my mental health and with my dog’s health being what it is now, I know I’m going to hit a low soon and I need to prepare myself for it. She’s been the sunlight of my life for the last 16 years. I’m turning 26 next month, she’s been with me for more than half of my life. It’ll break my heart when she’s gone but I know that the last year of her life, she could have been in a worse off place but my husband and I brought her with us when my mom moved and she’s been living a comfortable life for the last year. She’s my baby and I love her so much.

The Journey: Episode Twenty Two

SEPTEMBER 6, 2020

So I couldn’t afford to get my Novolog Mix 70/30 this week. No shock there. My insurance preferred that I get the brand name insulin which was obviously more, almost $600 a box of five pens. So the pharmacy asked if I wanted to screw my insurance and go with the generic and I said okay. Hah $300 per box of five pens. Then I asked if they could take my GoodRX card, they said sure. That would have brought my insulin down to $132. Which that was still too high a cost this week with all of our bills we had to pay, including the insurance that won’t pay for my medications.

So instead I went back to KTA and refilled my Lantus for $99. So I’ve been taking that the last two nights again. Not sure when we’ll get the money to pay for the Novolog, if we’ll get that money. Unemployment is supposed to give us backpay for August but we don’t know when that is coming. I’ve resorted to selling life insurance to hopefully help pay the bills.

I say it like it’s a bad thing. It’s not. I genuinely think people should be getting life insurance right now, especially with the pandemic going on and unemployment still being high. I’m really glad I got my life insurance before I was diagnosed with diabetes because I could potentially be uninsurable. My husband is on my policy and he’s the only one currently working a stable job. If I were to lose him, his insurance could help me financially which would be great.

I think of all of my friends and family who aren’t insured and have children. If they caught COVID-19, their children would be at risk. It’s a sad thought. So I’m glad I was able to get one of my friends insured, as well as his wife and kids, because now they can rest easy knowing if anything were to happen, they would be okay financially.

If only that line of business was more stable. But that’s alright. We’re making do. I can’t get my insulin right away but that’s okay, we’ll get by. I’m hoping I can make more sticker sales so I can pay for my business expenses separate from my personal expenses. I just have to keep persevering. Good things will come, I know they will.

So I have to wait until my husband’s pay day and hope he gets paid enough for the bills and my insulin. He worked too much hours to qualify for unemployment this week and my unemployment doesn’t get filed until next Sunday. Pay day is Friday. I have a doctor appointment with my PCP for my regular pills. I might have to pay for those because apparently we no longer qualify for QUEST medical and they picked up on the copay that HMSA left me with so that’s probably another $40 right there.

We have over $200 in bills to pay this week and only $40 in our account. Super great fun right there. Healthcare should seriously be more affordable than this. Isn’t America just great? I’m just upset that I can’t afford my medication. It all just sucks, but I will never give up.

My message to all of you out there: Keep on moving, don’t give up, and especially don’t give up on yourself. You’ve got this and I’m right here with you every step of the way. You have some rooting in your corner, always on your side, all the way out here in Hawaii. Never, ever give up. You can fight this and you can make it out of this alive. I believe in you.

The Journey: Episode Twenty-One

AUGUST 30, 2020

I had my doctor appointment on Thursday. I’m a little confused. I told my doctor all about my difficulties with my 85 units of Lantus and my blood sugar not being within range. We were concerned that my A1C hadn’t improved. So he decided to prescribe Novolog Mix 70/30. He wants me to take 50 units twice a day, 15 minutes before a meal.

What I’m confused about is, am I taking both Lantus and Novolog? I forgot to ask on the phone appointment and when I called the office an hour later to change pharmacies. I had to go with the Walgreen’s in my area because of the price. CVS would have charged me almost $250 per box, whereas Walgreens could catch me at $140, I hope. I’d have to use GoodRx for this one. But if I still have to take Lantus, then it’s cheaper at CVS. Then my pills are all at another pharmacy. All of this because my health insurance won’t cover insulin.

So because I don’t know if I’m taking both, I ran out of Lantus, I don’t have any money for either of them, and my Walgreens was fresh out of Novolog so I have to wait until Monday afternoon to see if it came in and take my insurance cards to them. I also have to hope they’ll take my GoodRx for the price it says. If not then I’m not going to be able to take this insulin AT ALL. This is so frustrating, not being able to afford your medication.

My last dose was Thursday night and since then I’ve had to rely on my cinnamon tea and berberine supplements. Surprisingly, they’ve been holding me at an okay morning blood sugar. It’s not within range but it’s not over 150 either so that’s good. I’m wondering if my insulin really is working or if this whole time it’s been the tea and berberine that’s gotten my number down in the morning. I’d like to try and purchase at least one box of Novolog to see if it will be more effective.

I’m so upset. He was going to prescribe me Ozempic, which I know worked, but it was over $400 for ONE PEN. I had it for one month last year and I was only able to buy it because my sister and best friend loaned me money to get it. But I can’t afford it now with this pandemic. I don’t know what to do. We have bills to pay, my unemployment benefit claim is going to be up soon (and that was only $200 every two weeks), and my husband doesn’t make enough for the bills but too much to qualify for unemployment.

Because of this, I’ve decided to start selling merchandise for my blog. If the sales can cover the monthly costs for my blog, then that’s one less thing we have to worry about each month. If you’re interested in pre-ordering some stickers, you can find the post on Instagram or on my Facebook page.

Also, I’m trying to kickstart my merchandise so I can eventually open an online shop and prepare for World Diabetes Day and National Diabetes Awareness Month this November. I’m always coming up with sticker designs and there will be new ones added every time. This pre-order is to help me order more stickers. Please think about supporting. I know it’s not a great time right now with the pandemic but anything helps.

Hopefully, next week I’ll be able to update you folks that I was able to buy my insulin and my numbers are looking better. I have no idea what the future holds but I can only hope that it looks bright.

The Journey: Episode Twenty

AUGUST 23, 2020

Well nothing really to report. However, I got my blood test done for my A1C and my number isn’t looking too hot. I was at 7.9 in April and now I’m at 8.2. So it’s gone up a little bit and I’m not too happy about that. All the insulin injections and blood sugar checks and I’m no better. But on the bright side at least it’s not at 11% like it was last year so in a year’s time I’ve managed to drop by 3% so that’s good news.

My doctor appointment with my endocrinologist is this Thursday so I’ll have an update by next episode.

I’ve been drinking the cinnamon tea some more. I talked with my diabetes coach and she said there was no concrete evidence it really helps to lower your blood sugar. I decided to make an experiment of it. But I can only do it for a week. Here’s how it would work:

For three days, I won’t drink cinnamon tea, Wednesday I would drink only the nighttime tea, then the last three days I’ll drink both teas. I’ll eat the same food at the same time every day, take my medications at the same time and check my blood sugar at the same time. That means alarms will have to be set on my phone and I’d have to try and sleep around the same time to be able to wake up around the same time.

I have to wait a couple weeks so I can save up money to buy the food for meal prepping and more prescriptions. Plus, I’m not sure if my doctor is going to give me a new insulin and I’d like to give it at least a week to figure out how it works for me. But when I do start my experiment, I’ll record about it here. I’m kind of excited about it because it’s going to make me feel like a scientist with all the note taking and experimenting.

I’m going to try a couple of days without the tea to see if there is any significant change in my blood sugar readings. So far it’s been looking pretty good although I take my tea either right before or after taking my blood sugar right now so I have to figure out the best time to drink and check. I’ll figure it out eventually.

Oh hey a self love update! I bought a t-shirt and lounge pants with The Child on them and I love them so much. However, the pants were way too long for my short legs so I cut them off at the knees, just below the graphics. Which is good because I can’t inject insulin in my thighs with pants on. I love it like this and I can use the cut off material to either make pillows or face masks, I have options.

The t-shirt is kind of thick and big so I cut the sleeves and collar off and I turned it into a crop top. It comes down to my belly button and it’s very comfy. I’ve decided to use it as my new pajama set, it’s been kind of warm lately anyway. Maybe when it gets colder and I get a little bit more confident I can wear it out in public. I might do it with other shirts that I have. I’m totally in to crop tops right now.

I’ve had issues with loving myself lately with this pandemic and my diabetes so finding something that makes me feel great about myself is a win in these dark times. I greatly encourage you to find that something in your life that makes you love yourself and enjoy it. You don’t have to take it out in to public if you’re not comfortable with that but you deserve to love the way you look and who you are. No matter who you are and what you look like, you deserve to love yourself and the body you’re in.

The Journey: Episode Nineteen

SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 2020

My blood sugar is looking a little bit better this week. I started drinking cinnamon tea about five days ago and my blood sugar has been in range more days than out of it. I’ve heard of the benefits of cinnamon tea on blood sugar levels and I’ve been wanting to try it out for a while and I finally got around to it. I’ve read that you can use either a cinnamon stick or one tablespoon of ground cinnamon, I finally found cinnamon sticks in a big container at my Walmart so I don’t have to do ground cinnamon.

One thing about cinnamon tea though, is make sure you’re not taking too much of it. It has a compound that could shutdown your liver if you ingest too much of it, but you’d have to take like either a lot or this one cinnamon that has a high amount of that compound. I can’t think of the name right now, so do your research before you start drinking this stuff.

It’s not so bad although if I let it sit for too long, like when I’m waiting for the water to cool down and I’ve forgotten it, it can get a bit spicy. One time I forgot it completely until the water was basically cold and the stick was sitting in the water and it was the spiciest drink I’ve ever had in my life it was a bit hard to swallow but I managed to drink it all. I think it works best when the water gets spicy.

My cinnamon stick stash

I’ve been using one stick twice a day, once in the morning and once before I take my insulin. Then I’ll take my blood sugar and prep my insulin. Man my insulin. I’m running low on funds to buy my insulin, fun times. So I’ve taken to using every drop of insulin I have. Before I’d throw away whatever was left in my pens if it couldn’t make a full dose, because I was afraid of sticking myself twice in a night, and for good reason too, it’s not fun twice in one night.

But since I won’t be able to afford it for much longer I’ve had to double up on needles every couple of days to make my 85 unit doses. It’s not fun and my left leg has already had to do it twice now. I’ve managed ten shots in my right thigh and I’m eight shots in on my left thigh with two nights doubling up. It wasn’t very fun, though last night it wasn’t too bad when the needles went in, but afterwards they both stung and the second one bled a little bit.

I’ve kind of come to terms with double shots some nights, anything to save money really. I’m just upset that I have two insurances and neither of them will pay for my insulin. I’m not sure if my insulin is a life-saving drug, but it’s so important to my health and they won’t cover it, like it’s some optional drug that I don’t need. They’ll pay for my cortisone cream for my eczema but not my insulin. Thank goodness for a manufacturer coupon that makes it cheaper for me, but at $100 a box every couple of weeks is still ridiculous.

This is so ridiculous. But hopefully with the cinnamon tea, exercise, and lower carb intake my blood sugar will be able to get under better control. I hope I can get another insulin or something that I can take a smaller dosage and maybe cheaper? Who knows. Here’s to hoping for a better future for myself.

Big Announcement!

So I made the decision to create some sticker designs that I want to make available for you folks to purchase and stick everywhere and on everything. The stickers just came in and they look really good.

I’m super excited to have these guys up for you. These are just some of the designs I have available right now. So far I have seven stickers designed, I’m just trying to figure out how I’m going to sell them. I could create a shop page on this blog, I’m just not sure how WordPress’ shop program works and if it’s worth it. Or I could create a shop on Etsy, Square, Shopify, etc. but there are a lot of fees with those.

The other thing about this venture is that it does cost money up front to bring these stickers in, so it might be awhile before I can actually start selling these, but I definitely want to make these available for you guys.

F*CK diabetes

This design comes in red and black as well as blue and white.

It’s easily my favorite design. I figure the blue design could help identify you as Type 1 diabetic and the red design as a Type 2 diabetic.

Don’t be a PRICK

This design only comes in this coloration.

I love this design, I just wish it came as a die cut instead of a plain rectangle.

Type 2 diabetic

This is a smaller sticker that comes only in red.

My husband and I think it could come in a bigger size, but what do you think? It’s the smaller of the three.

Here are the other designs I have created, I only got these three as samples to see if the company was really all that. Needless to say, yes they are all that. The watermarks are there to protect my work from any thieves out there.

Why sell stickers?

Well I love stickers and I created these for myself, but then I loved the design so much that I thought maybe you folks might like them too. My husband likes them. He particularly likes the F*ck diabetes in red.

I’d like to hear your opinion on these stickers.

The Journey: Episode Eighteen

AUGUST 10, 2020

So conditions have been unchanged since the last journey update. I went one night without injecting my insulin and the next morning I woke up and my blood glucose was 210 mg/dL. I’m not sure how it would have been if I had taken my insulin that night because we had dinner kind of late that night, after 7pm, and it was pretty carb heavy. But then there’s today. I ate dinner way before 6pm and it wasn’t very carb heavy. When I took my blood glucose at 9am, kind of late because I woke up late, it was 179! So that’s very frustrating.

I think my insulin injections aren’t working as well as they were when I first started taking them. They’re still working thank goodness, but not nearly enough. It’s only a slight change in my numbers between not taking and taking my insulin. So I’m basically paying $99 every two weeks or so for a drug that’s supposed to be helping me, but isn’t.

And that’s another thing. I have Lantus. It’s 5 pens of about 310units each. I’m at 85units now, I can only get three doses from each pen. I don’t use it all the way to 0 because I don’t want to inject myself twice, it’s bad enough doing one each night, plus there are always bubbles no matter how hard I try. I have a coupon card which helps me get my boxes at a discount, I’m not sure what the discount is, but I only pay $99. However, when I tried to fill my prescription on the last week of July, the Pharmacy said if they were to fill it then, I would have to pay full price, but if I waited until next week, it would be $99. Neither of my insurances companies cover my insulin, which completely fucking sucks, so I had to wait, thankfully I had enough left to be able to wait. But now I go through one box in two weeks and I wonder if they’ll be able to fill it at the discounted price. I think I might have to double inject this time just to make it stretch, which doesn’t sound fun at all.

Liliuokalani Park and Gardens – Hilo,HI

My next prescription of Lantus, I’m moving to another pharmacy where it will be hopefully cheaper for me. If not, then I have no idea what to do and I’m screwed. Unless my doctor can give me another insulin which would be a lot better, if it’s cheaper.

Yea the stress of not having enough money to buy my medication and the stress of my medication not working is very…stressful. I’ve been so stressed out lately that I had a breakdown, in front of my boss. Thankfully she was so kind and understanding. We worked out my schedule so I only work one to two hours a day from home and it’s been working a lot so far. I feel less stressed and I’m getting more work done.

I’m looking in to meditation to try and help get my stress levels down on the regular and take time for myself more often. I’ve got a lot of lovely scented candles that I’ve been lighting and it’s been lifting my spirits.

I hope if you’re facing these same hardships in your diabetic journey, that you’ll take some time for yourself. Your mental health is so important and we always forget to take care of ourselves. Go take a nice warm bath. Drink some tea and read your favorite book. Go take a walk outside in the sunshine today. Take some time to slow down and enjoy your life. Even though you have diabetes, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this life you were given. Smile at yourself in the mirror and take a minute to love being you. I love you. I am here for you. We can get through this together. You’ve got this!

The Journey: Episode Seventeen

AUGUST 3, 2020

So it’s been a long while since I last posted. A lot had been going on during July with helping my sister with her move and then cleaning up after she left, she left a surprising amount of stuff behind. We had a ceremony for my dad’s ashes in July which took a lot of planning. Then there was our storage unit we had to go through. It was all very overwhelming and I hadn’t expected on taking a hiatus from The Young and Diabetic, so I deeply and sincerely apologize.

On to the journey, not so great. So I’ve been injecting in to my thighs for a bit, it’s not super fun, but it doesn’t hurt as much as injecting in to my abdomen. I actually miscalculated the injections in my thighs and only did 15 shots per thigh when I could have done a lot more, but I used quite a bit of my outer thighs so I decided to give them a rest for two weeks and went back to injecting in to my abdomen, man it was sore. I forgot how sensitive my abdomen was. My pen only does up to 80 units but I’ve gone up to 85 units of insulin which means in the middle of injecting, I have to stop and twist the plunger back 5 units to make 85. I definitely don’t want to reinject the needle. HELL NO!

I use a One Drop meter and with it I have a monthly subscription for test strips. Thanks to the monthly subscription, I have access to a diabetes coach. My coach, Rachel, had asked me if I ever talked with my doctor about possibly switching to another insulin brand that was stronger so I could do smaller dosages. I didn’t even know that was a thing! I was worried that my doctor would switch me to an insulin that needed to be taken with each meal. I think a stronger but smaller dosage would be great because a larger dosage takes forever to inject.

My next doctor appointment is on August 25th so I’ll definitely bring it up with my doctor. Then we’ll see what we can do. Right now, I’m injecting in my thighs again. I’m on my right thigh and I’m going to do about ten injections on my thigh in a line with a 1/4″ distance between injection sites before moving to the next thigh.

I’m still really upset that now I have to stop mid-injection to up my dosage by 5 units and my hands involuntarily shake and move the needle AND MY GLUCOSE IS STILL HIGH! It’s so frustrating and a couple of times, I’ve bled because my hand shakes too much and it all just sucks.

Honolii Beach Park – Hilo, HI

My glucose ranges from 120 to 170 in the morning and anything above 125 is an evil number and it’s like no matter what I do I can’t seem to keep my numbers down. Some times it’ll be nice and low but I don’t know what I did to get that number and when I try to replicate it the next day, my number is over 150, like WTF!?

So annoying and so frustrating. I feel like I’m stressing out and I can’t stop stressing and I feel like everyone around me is adding to my stress and it’s getting overwhelming. I can’t even get a good night’s sleep. I’m lucky if I fall asleep before 10pm. Sometimes I won’t fall asleep until almost 3am. Like what is going on with my body! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to just lay all that out for you.

Anyway, I’m going to keep pushing ahead and I’m going to try to get back on my content schedule as best as I can, even though this one is a day late. Please don’t worry about me, I’ll get through this. I always do.

Advice to My Younger Self

If only I had these letters to read when I was growing up. If only I had this advice when I was going through these key points in my life. What could have happened if I went outside more? What could have happened if I had known more about diabetes before? Maybe these letters can help you or someone you know make the right choices in their life.


Dear 12-year-old Me,

For the love of everything that’s good in this world, please get off your butt and get outside. Go outside and enjoy the world. One day soon, it’ll be too dangerous to go outside as kids. Enjoy the outdoors. Run around, ride your bike, be stupid. Enjoy the outdoors. Your activeness now will be a savior in the future.

Sincerely,
Present Me


Dear 16-year-old Me,

Please get some sleep. Stop staying up late. It’s not cool to stay up late. Also, please stop eating garbage. Just because it’s easy to make doesn’t mean it’s good for you. You don’t have the rest of your life to correct your mistakes in life. You have this one life and if you want to live it to the fullest and see everything on your bucket list, stop making these mistakes. It’ll be easier to just not make the mistake than to try and fix it later in life. Don’t be dumb, don’t make those mistakes.

Sincerely,
Present Me


Dear 19-year-old Me,

Please, please, go spend time with dad. Go outside and walk with him. Go downstairs and watch tv with him. I know you want him to be here forever and I know he makes it seem like he’ll be around for a long time to come, but he won’t. Go spend time with him. Learn more about diabetes. Help him with his diabetes. This is your last year with him. What you do won’t prevent him from leaving but maybe it’ll help you come to terms with his death, that at least you tried. Please, just try. For me.

Sincerely,
Devastated


Dear 20-year-old Me,

I’m so so sorry. If only we had made better choices in our life. We could have avoided this diagnosis somehow. Maybe. Here’s my advice to you: DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR MEDICATION. EVER. Take them on time, every time. Even when the side effects seem unbearable, they’ll get better for us. Don’t stop taking your meds and go and get educated on diabetes. Get educated early. There might still be a chance for you to bring your numbers down and maybe even reverse your diabetes, if that really exists. You have a chance. You just need to lose 10% of your body weight and make better food choices. It’s still early on in your diagnosis. You can do this, I believe in you.

Sincerely,
Present Me


Dear Future Me,

I hope we finally got our life in order somehow. I hope we got the baby we always dreamed of having and I hope we’re finally at that healthy weight we’re been hoping for. I’m just starting to retake my life and I hope I’ve made it. Please continue to work hard to keep your numbers down. I have faith in you and I love you so much. I hope we can change our life for the better. I love you.

Sincerely,
Courtney ❤


I definitely encourage you to write letter to your past selves and your future self. What do you wish you could have been told back then? What do you hope for in your future? Maybe it’ll help you come to terms with your diagnosis. Remember, you can never turn back the clock, but you can keep moving forward. You can CHOOSE to keep moving forward. I believe in you and I love you.


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30 Day Low Carb Challenge: Week 1

I would like to note that you don’t have to read these. They’re are my documentation of my journey through this challenge and it will be lengthy. Each one will be an entire week’s worth of entries. This is mostly for me to log and read. Thank you!


Sunday, June 21, 2020

For breakfast, I had 3 strips of bacon, 2 hot dogs, 2 eggs scrambled and 2 slices of toast with butter. Usually my tummy gets queasy when I eat this sort of greasy food without rice to control the grease, but this morning it wasn’t so bad. It came out to 33g of carbs. My limit is 45g. Oh but my grandma bought a Boston Cream Cake and I wanted to try a slice so I had half a slice, 1/16 of the cake, and that put me right at my limit: 45g. I was a little upset but at least it wasn’t more than 45g. Also this morning, I had a daytime detox tea which doesn’t say if there’s carbs in it but I should think it doesn’t.

For lunch, I had some hummus and cauliflower stalks with a BBQ Chicken Creations sandwich, again with white bread. That wasn’t so bad. I actually really like the cauliflower stalks and hummus together. Also, I had a Mountain View Stone Cookie as a snack which was a mistake. 200 calories and 29g of carbs in just one cookie!

Dinner was garlic butter shrimp. I was blown away that garlic butter shrimp has almost no carbs whatsoever. The only carbs I had was in the veggie rice medley I had with the shrimp in place of my usual white rice. Good thing my sister had a bag sitting in the freezer this whole time. Otherwise, I’ll be having quinoa as my rice replacement for the rest of this challenge.

In total, I have had roughly 125g of carbs which is a complete plus for the first day! My goal is between 90 and 175g of carbs per day. These are my choices for the rest of the challenge.

Downfalls: The slice of cake and the stone cookie were complete mistakes to have but at least I had them now in the beginning. It can only get better from here. My post-meal blood sugar after lunch was 199mg/dL so there’s still a lot of work to do. We didn’t get to walk the dogs today so we’ll see how walking the dogs can impact everything.

Upsides: I was completely in range as far as carb intake. And with this number, I’m 100% sure that I’m satisfied and not hungry. 80% full is 100% satisfied.

Calories Consumed: 1840Calories Burned: 2327Caloric Balance: +12 (over)
Protein: 80.1gNet Carbs: 125.6gFat: 111.7g

Monday, June 22, 2020

Today was rough. I was so hungry. But my husband made sure I didn’t give in. I had a detox tea this morning. I fasted 16 hours from the night before and that ended at 10:30am. I also had a Herbalife raspberry tea. Before breakfast, I had some roasted red pepper hummus and baby carrots. For breakfast, I had two hotdogs on two slices of bread and some baked fries (skin on). It wasn’t the best breakfast but it’s what we had until we can go to the store again. At least there was no ketchup.

Half an hour later, I got hungry again. I asked my husband if I could have ramen, but he said no and tossed me a protein pack instead. But I was still hungry! So I had some cauliflower and broccoli rice and some leftover shrimp from dinner. That kind of tied me over. I took my dog out for a walk, took us an hour. It was a good walk.

For dinner, my husband made slow cooked pot roast. I had quinoa with my dinner. Wasn’t that bad. I had a pretty decent sized dinner. Lunchtime was hard. It’s only the second day and it really sucked. I have to go out and get more alternatives to the carb heavy snacks in the house right now. I’m going to be week during this first week, I know it.

Downfalls: I had white bread slices again today. I need to get whole grain bread soon. I ate a lot more today just to feel full. I also forgot to take my blood sugar after all the food.

Upsides: I went out and walked my dog which was good. This experience will help me prepare for the next week. I had less grams of fat today than yesterday! I burned more calories today than I consumed so I’m on the path of burning one pound a week!

Calories Consumed: 1697Calories Burned: 2434Caloric Balance: -239
Protein: 100gNet Carbs: 126.8gFat: 82g

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

So today I cheated. Badly. I was craving beef stroganoff and we tried to do it as low carb as possible for dinner but we couldn’t find any alternative noodles for egg noodles ANYWHERE. Not even Safeway had any. So we had to get egg noodles. I also had furikake chicken for lunch. It was so good. But it came with rice and potato mac salad. No alternatives. Considering how much carbs I eat normally, I’m still pretty stoked that it took me two days before I went back to eating rice. However, I can’t make a habit of this. LOW CARB DAMMIT.

Breakfast was two hotdogs, two eggs, and two buttered white toast. We finally got whole grain bread! Today was a bad day but a good one too. We bought some great low carb alternatives. We bought veggie tots and sweet potato fries. We bought a lot of fruits too. We forgot to grab whole grain pasta at Safeway though, so we have to go back because I want spaghetti tomorrow. Either we get whole grain pasta or veggie noodles whichever one we can find. But, at Safeway, we found low carb ice cream! I know this challenge says no ice cream, but it was no ice cream high in refined sugar. Each bar has under 10g of carbs and is high in protein so I think it’s a plus. But we forgot to grab that too, so tomorrow we’re gonna grab those, pasta, and some shrimp, they go on sale tomorrow too.

I’m very upset about today, but I can only go forward from this and do better. I also did go over my carb limit today and I’m really sad about that. I was going to walk my dog today, but I fell asleep and slept for two hours! I’ve been really tired since starting this challenge. I think it’s because I’m not eating a lot of carbs so my body is working harder to burn protein and fats instead maybe. Also, I had diarrhea after eating the furikake chicken. My stomach was so upset with me. Was it the grease from the chicken or the rice and mac salad? No idea but it was definitely lunch that did it for me.

Downfalls: I was weak today and gave in to white rice. I went over my carb limit and I didn’t go out to walk my dog today. Today was bad.

Upsides: I did a lot of walking in the store today while shopping. Dinner was really good too.

Calories Consumed: 1684Calories Burned: 2347Caloric Balance: -164
Protein: 60.8gNet Carbs: 198.1gFats: 72.7g

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

So today was a little better but not by much. I’ve been weak. I had a slice of pizza and a breadstick with two mini cinnamon rolls for dinner. For breakfast, I had fruits and hummus and baby carrots. For lunch, I had a Subway sandwich on whole wheat bread. But I did get some exercise in today which was great.

I must be strong and not give in to the carbs! I’m really upset about it. My husband had been craving pizza while we were on this challenge. Today was just a bad day.

Downfall: I had too much carbs today.

Upsides: I got out and walked a lot while shopping and walking my dog.

Calories Consumed: 1753Calories Burned: 2334Caloric Balance: -82
Protein: 64gNet Carbs: 181.6gFats: 77.8g

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Okay so today we were out almost the whole day. I had simian for breakfast with three medium boiled eggs. It’s not my finest moment, but then I didn’t eat until dinner. Not because I was forcing myself not to eat, but because I wasn’t hungry. But because I missed lunch and didn’t have anything since breakfast, I was hungry at dinnertime and that’s where I lost it.

Dinner was teriyaki chicken and rice with a salad topped with a couple slices of blackened ahi. I also had some sort of salad dressing with it. We ordered takeout from a local restaurant so I’m not sure what the salad dressing was. The plate came with three teriyaki chicken breasts and I didn’t save any of them for later. I am ashamed of that.

My only compensation is that we were out in the sun for most of the day and it’s been super hot and sunny all day. We also walked the dog at the walking park after dinner so we got to walk off dinner a bit. There was no breeze but the clouds finally covered the setting sun so it wasn’t hot and sunny. We did a pretty good pace with my good old girl. We could only do 1.5 laps around the park because she was starting to get tired and panting a lot.

We’re planning to make morning walks without the dog a thing soon. We just have to buy my husband walking shoes so we can get some serious laps in. He only has his work shoes. It’s Hawaii, we don’t usually wear shoes here. Maybe we’ll get to run a bit, too.

Downfall: A lot of freaking carbs today. Too much.

Upside: We’re making plans to be more active. I got a personalized weight loss book in the mail that walks me through the best food choices to make and tips for beginning my weight loss journey. I’m really excited about it and can’t wait to make the necessary food swaps towards weight loss. ALSO, I now weigh 209 pounds. I’ve lost three pounds since starting this challenge. I’m sure it’s water weight but that’s still something.

Calories Consumed: 2203Calories Burned: 2368Caloric Balance: +334 (over)
Proteins: 148.4gNet Carbs: 221.3gFats: 72.7g

Friday, June 26, 2020

Today the cravings were non-existent. I had a blackened ahi salad from the night before for breakfast. It wasn’t that bad. I didn’t finish it so I gave it to my husband to finish. I had one serving of M&M peanuts, I actually opened the share size package and split it in to three servings. All for me of course. Then I tried out my Breyer’s ice cream. It was surprisingly very good and it helped on the super hot day we had.

For a snack, I had a pair of chicken sliders from Market Pantry – Target. They’re pretty good. For lunch, I went to Subway and had a 6-inch turkey sandwich on wheat bread. I couldn’t hear what the guy said but they didn’t have all the options available anyway so I went with wheat. Loaded it with veggies and had a little bit of mayo to make it not so dry.

For dinner, we had spaghetti with whole grain spaghetti noodles. The noodles were actually really good. I thought they were going to taste weird but they were actually really good. However, my tummy wasn’t having all the sauce and it was getting queasy, so I had a scoop of rice to help calm my tummy down. It helped but at what cost?

Downside: I had quite a bit of sweets and starch.

Upside: I ate a lot less than the other days.

Calories Consumed: 1550Calories Burned: 2266Caloric Balance: -217
Proteins: 67.5gNet Carbs: 170.7Fats: 64.9g

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Today was hectic. My sisters, husband, and I went down to our storage unit to find Crystal’s high school diploma so she can apply for grad school in Germany. The storage unit is crowded with crap and there’s no light or air conditioning. It was pretty hot. I sweated a lot.

For breakfast, I had leftover spaghetti and some rice. Not so great. I also had some Hello Panda candies, also not good. After we were done with the storage unit, I had a chef’s salad and hot dog from 7 Eleven not the best choice but it wasn’t completely unhealthy. And we went to the mall and I had a Gotta Guava Jamba Juice, so good, high in sugar.

For dinner, we ordered out and I had some mochiko chicken, white rice, and a salad. I thought I had ordered the mochiko chicken curry but turns out I was wrong. So I had a very carb heavy day but I did get to burn off some of those calories. Not really.

Calories Consumed: 2512Calories Burned: 2546Caloric Balance: +465 (over)
Proteins: 94.4gNet Carbs: 347.8gFats: 74.5g

Overview:

The first week could have gone better. I didn’t stick to the challenge very well and that is completely my bad. And I’m starting to pay for it. My blood sugar levels aren’t going down and now my insulin dosage is going up. It’s very frustrating. I need to try harder next week.